Who Wants to Get Depressed?

Is it working?

Say what you want about Bradley Manning or wikileaks, but I can't help but see how he's being treated and think that "This isn't us." And it certainly isn't who we're supposed to be.

It's crazy. We live in a world where soldiers can murder people and get a slap on the wrist, yet a guy releases documents that let us know what our government is up to and this happens? It's like a Kafka story.

It's like a Kafka story, especially, because I don't want to stick around for the ending and I resent that I even have to read it in the first place.

This Guy is the Guy

70 year-old qualifies for the Olympics.

I'd like to think we could all be that badass at that age, but, man, I just hope I'm there enough to know that I'm not in the goddamn Olympics. We should all be so lucky.

Praise Stalin!

We've got a new episode up!

We talk about spies and writing and not a whole lot of anything interesting. Sorry. Maybe next time?

In the mean time enjoy this trailer--


Man, that was a simpler time, wasn't it?

White Guys Free the World

We released an episode fairly recently! Two, in fact! Listen to it! Them! Whatever! The first one is honestly one of my favorites. The second one I can kind of take or leave.

To get things started, here is the real truth about the Lizardmen (the Jews)--

Laugh if you will, but I went to college with these people. They graduated.

We started the episode with how nutmeg will getchu high.

I personally remember the moment I learned that. I've never been much on getting high. I like drinking. It works for me and I believe it will continue to work for me. If I was a character in the movie Platoon, I would firmly be in the campy of Tom Berringer in that case. I'm a juicer, not a smoker. I would kill Elias, though. That shit's untoward.

But despite this being in the public sphere for. . .well, probably since forever, that doesn't stop ABC News from doing a weird story on people smoking incense. Or something.

And, in the odd chance that an adult researching nutmeg abuse is reading this blog (or, really, anyone), let me tell you: No one uses nutmeg. No one. Ever. Just like no one licks frogs and no one does whippets and no one gets high with music except maybe the dervishes, but they're into religion and shit, so leave them alone.

People don't do weird and crappy drugs because weird and crappy drugs suck. If your retard kid is huffing paint it's because there are far worse things in his life than there is awesome things in sucking up spray paint. So says I*.

And before I get too far along-- Attaching magnet bombs to the cars of political targets isn't only a move of the Israelis-- It seems that Iran might be following suit, as well.

Now, hold that thought. I'm going to work on some more, smaller entries. These things get out of hand too easy.

VOTE RON PAUL 2012!


*And if anyone does, good of them. It'll make a great Dr. Phil episode.

A Warm Up

In order to get myself ready to do a big ol' blog post on our last episode, here's evidence that Ryan Gosling is the only guy on the face of the planet who can get away with that fucking scorpion jacket.

This shouldn't be news to anyone, I just appreciate it being on paper and all.

Also, here's twenty facts about the movie Drive that you may or may not know.

Damn, I love Drive.

Our Latest Hunk of Misery

Episode 37 is now out in the wild.

It's a miniature episode about the Academy Award nominations and as hard as we try to avoid the usual pitfalls that can be expected on people writing about the Oscars, it still has its own wikipedia section.

There isn't much that can be said about the Oscars that isn't said every single year and repeatedly and, more often than not, un-ironically. We try, though. We really did try.

Anyways, speaking of great movies of 2011, Drive comes out today on Blurray and DVD. (Seriously though, buy it from a local business and not frigging Amazon. Local revenue simply can't compete with juggernuats! And if juggernauts are all you pray to they'll be the only things that are left over when the lizardmen come out of their caves to rule the post-volcanic earth, maaaaaaaan.)

Stories from the Crime Squad

Man Sentenced to Prison for Attacking Police Officers with a Light Saber

You can go to jail for that?