Tuesday, March 27, 2012

There is Nothing Tasteful I can Affix "-Gate" To

It should come as no surprise that Rick Santorum wants to ban hardcore pornography. He's a religious weirdo who believes that God isn't doing enough on His part when it comes to monitoring people's boners.

What should come as a surprise is the response from pornographers. While most of their responses range from "He's out of his mind" to "It'll never happen," I found the response from Michael Lucas, a gay pornographer, to be the most interesting and, in a way, maybe the most indicative of what America is supposed to be. Read on--

Lucas, who grew up in the former Soviet Union and immigrated to the United States in 1997 after working in Europe as a male prostitute, founded Lucas Entertainment in 1998, which flourished into a mega-enterprise that produces some of the most lavish gay porn films in the industry. His side company, Lucas Raunch, boasts a repertoire of hardcore fetish videos that are so explicit that Canadian officials banned copies from the country in 2009.

"This is not what Ronald Reagan envisioned," Lucas said after reviewing Santorum's plan. "This is not what the Founding Fathers envisioned. This is what Rick Santorum envisions. And I think the guy is crazy."

Lucas, by the way, considers himself a conservative, votes Republican and donates generously to several libertarian and right-wing causes. And when he casts a ballot in the November election, he hopes it will be for Mitt Romney.
That, in short, is what America means to me. It means gay entrepreneurs immigrating to America to vote for whoever the hell they want to, regardless of what is popular or expected. That and jerking off within the limits of the law and a basic sense of morality are what America means to me. Those two things, together, like the insignia of Conan the Barbarian.

I also like that these guys aren't sweating a presidential candidate equating them with human smuggling rings and prostitution. I don't know what that means, exactly, but I like it.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Friday, March 16, 2012

On Shutting the Fuck Up

I gotta say as much of a known asshole as Bill Maher, I gotta say, he's right on the money when it comes to this Limbaugh's Slut-gate (nobody's used that one yet, right? Oh, come on, they must have).

Anyways, read this and then let's all shut up--

And through it all, I have defended Rush's right to stay on the air! Not what he said, that was disgusting - but the right to not disappear because people who don't even listen to you don't like what you said. That really bothers me. I never hear Rush Limbaugh unless a guy in the next truck at a stop light has it on; it would be arrogant for me to say "he has to disappear" and deprive the people who do listen to him of what they like. We all have different tastes and different opinions, that's America.

(via ABC.)

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


First it's wooly mammoths, then it's dinosaurs, then it's dirty ol' cavemen coming into town and stealing our women, giving our ground sun the old stink eye! Well, I won't have it, I tell you! My great grandpa didn't flee a murder charge to come to this country to have it run over with no good flint monkeys!

Oh, what? South Korea and Russia are working on this? Okay, phew. I got worried and started imagining that this was something that existed in reality. What a jerk I've made myself into.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Joseph Kony of Mars

There's a lot of talk about Africa recently and as poorly informed about that continent as I am (read: poorly), I think we all need to take a step back and at least view the darkest of continents with a little bit of context.
Because, hey, that shit don't hurt.

(PS: Here's a bigger version.)

This Guy is Also the Guy

A 100 year old guy ran and finished a marathon.

At first I was confused, then I noticed he was a Sikh and it all made perfect sense as
those dudes are tougher than coffin nails.

So, feel bad about not committing to your work-out schedule yet?

I've been voting for Kony for years!

There's a lot of scuttlebutt about Joe Kony (as I call him) over the internet recently.

And while a lot of it is either firmly in the sort of savoir-complex a lot of what I've been seeing a lot of knee-jerk anti-Western sentiments sewn into the topic, as well. There's just a lot of emotions for the wrong reasons flying about and most of them can make you into kind of a jerk.

It's an odd subject to have feelings about-- but I read this article that analyzed the situation and the response, and there was one quote in particular that leapt out at me. It seems like it summarized this whole thing much better than I could have (and about as good as I would like to):

This certainly doesn’t mean people shouldn’t watch the video, like it and share it and it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t feel passionate about making a difference. But before you like and share you need to question. Question the organisation and its motives and funding, question the timing and more importantly question what you now know about northern Uganda that you didn’t before watching the video.

In general we should all frown upon murder and torture and the like. I kind of want to get into some of the stupider things I've seen on Al Jazeera's comments page, but I don't have the energy and I think that momentum out of the subject at hand*. We should also do our best not to get sanctimonious about people who want to stop these kinds of things. This isn't an indy band you can claim knowledge about before hand, this is something that actually matters.

Awareness and "Liking" something isn't enough to make a change and it certainly isn't enough to understand the topic at hand. We can all do more in either case to make the world better. To simply take a poor opinion to something is not an acceptable accomplishment.

I don't know. I've probably said to much, so I just just reiterate one of the maxim's I try to live by, which is: Don't be a dick, please.

We can all at least agree on that, right?

*I'm seriously glad that I didn't see a comments page filled with anti-Semitism for once. . . thought it did have a couple of moments of bizarre homophobia.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Who Wants to Get Depressed?

Is it working?

Say what you want about Bradley Manning or wikileaks, but I can't help but see how he's being treated and think that "This isn't us." And it certainly isn't who we're supposed to be.

It's crazy. We live in a world where soldiers can murder people and get a slap on the wrist, yet a guy releases documents that let us know what our government is up to and this happens? It's like a Kafka story.

It's like a Kafka story, especially, because I don't want to stick around for the ending and I resent that I even have to read it in the first place.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

This Guy is the Guy

70 year-old qualifies for the Olympics.

I'd like to think we could all be that badass at that age, but, man, I just hope I'm there enough to know that I'm not in the goddamn Olympics. We should all be so lucky.